FOR AGES 12 TO 17
Worksheet for Active Targets of Bullying
Bullying means when one person or a group of persons targets another person
over a period of time with mean actions such as hitting, shoving, kicking,
name calling, playing dirty tricks, leaving someone out or spreading rumors.
1. Write about a time at school or on the school bus in which you were bullied.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Most bullying happens between people who are not friends and do not usually
hang out with each other. The bully has more power and does not care about
the target's feelings. The target is upset while the bully is calm and cool.
Some people may move and talk a lot. They may tease others, trying to have
fun. This may irritate the bully. They do not think before they act. If
the bully touches them, or takes their seat, they may have a quick and loud
reaction. Then, they may easily get into a fight with the bully, but in the
end they lose.
Have any of these things ever happened to you? Explain.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
It is hard for teachers to tell whether these kids are bullies or victims.
They may get blamed for many things. In order to STOP things from happening
like this, the active target needs to learn to manage himself/herself.
Bullies are most likely to choose you as a target if you behave in certain
ways. This does not mean that the bully has an excuse for bullying you.
There is no excuse for bullying. It is wrong. However, you may be unaware
that you are sending signals to the bully that he can get away with bullying
you because you will make it easy for him or her to blame you.
BEFORE THE BULLYING INCIDENT
In the incident in which you were bullied describe any events that led up to the incident.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
What happened just before you were bullied?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Did you do any of the following things that may have set off the bully or
made it easy for the bully to try and blame you? Circle any that apply.
a. challenge the bully ("if you take my seat today, I'll tell")
b. fight a battle that you did not need to, by assuming things, without taking your time.
c. Tease the bully
d. Force your way in because you felt so eager to be included
e. Create tension around you with so much noise and activity
f. Flare up over something that may not have been that important.
g. Other -explain.
Is there a way you could have avoided the bully?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
DURING THE INCIDENT
How did you react to the bully?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Your reaction to bullying may determine if the bully will target you again.
Bullies like it when you react in a noisy and showy way. This may get you
attention, but it gives the bully attention too. It gives a bully a sense of
power over you. It makes it FUN for the bully to bully you and he or she
will do it again.
Did you think of the consequences (results) before you acted or spoke, or did
you jump right in?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Did this situation bring you attention?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Were you so impulsive (quick to react) that the bully got the best of you?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Did you lose your temper?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Did you react in a loud and showy way?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
How can you remember to manage your behavior, and STOP and THINK before you
react?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you issue a challenge to a bully, your teacher will treat it as if you
caused the incident, and there will be a consequence. If the bully bullied
you, and then later you were mean to him, (there has been some time
in-between), it will also be treated as if you caused the incident. You will
need to learn how to handle bullying situations in a responsible manner, so
you do not end up being in trouble.
If you try to remember these things it may help you:
It is not necessary to argue over small things.
The bully is hoping you will fight back so you will lose.
If you are too eager to be included, it makes it easier for the bully to pick
on you.
Pushing your way into a group is not a way to make friends.
Think of the consequences of your actions before acting.
Stop and think before jumping in to a situation
You may be fun to torment if you are noisy and showy
When you react so quickly (without thinking) then you are easy to get the
better of.
Which of the things listed above do you think you most need to remember?
Ha-Ha-So
Targets can try HA HA SO for dealing with bullies.* Not every one works in
every situation.You may want to practice some of these techniques in the
mirror before actually trying to use them. You need to think ahead of time
about what sort of things push your buttons, because the bully will push
those buttons. You need to think ahead of time what you will do or say when
the bully does push your buttons.
What are your "buttons" (things people can say or do that really upset you)?
Here is the HA HA SO method:
H Help. Seek help from peers and/or an adult.
A Assert yourself. Look the bully in the eye and tell them to stop. Keep it
short. Use "I" statements like "I don't like it when you do that, please
stop." Remember to keep your voice calm, and do not whine or yell. Do not
taunt or insult, speak of the behavior, not the bully.
Humor. Respond with a remark to make the bully laugh. Remember not to insult the bully.
A Avoid. Walk away, stay with others, not alone.
S Self-talk. Put on a tape in your own mind that says nice things to yourself so the bully doesn't get to you.
O Own it. Own the put-down (agree with it) to throw the bully off.
What not to do.
Do NOT react emotionally.
Don't show strong emotions in front of the bully which will excite the bully more.4. Using an example of one of the times you were
bullied, show how a target could use HA HA or
SO:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Which HA HA SO do you think would work best?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Is there any HA HA SO you should not try in this case?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
5. Who are the adults you trust and can turn to for help when you are bullied in school?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
6. Are there other students in your school who might support you?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
7. In the most recent situation, how might you have handled it?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
*The HAHASO strategy was developed by the Bully Project and set forth in Bully-Proofing
Your School, which can be obtained from Sopris West Publishing at .
FOR AGES 12 TO 17
Worksheet for Active Targets of Bullying
Bullying means when one person or a group of persons targets another person
over a period of time with mean actions such as hitting, shoving, kicking,
name calling, playing dirty tricks, leaving someone out or spreading rumors.
1. Write about a time at school or on the school bus in which you were bullied.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Most bullying happens between people who are not friends and do not usually
hang out with each other. The bully has more power and does not care about
the target's feelings. The target is upset while the bully is calm and cool.
Some people may move and talk a lot. They may tease others, trying to have
fun. This may irritate the bully. They do not think before they act. If
the bully touches them, or takes their seat, they may have a quick and loud
reaction. Then, they may easily get into a fight with the bully, but in the
end they lose.
Have any of these things ever happened to you? Explain.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
It is hard for teachers to tell whether these kids are bullies or victims.
They may get blamed for many things. In order to STOP things from happening
like this, the active target needs to learn to manage himself/herself.
Bullies are most likely to choose you as a target if you behave in certain
ways. This does not mean that the bully has an excuse for bullying you.
There is no excuse for bullying. It is wrong. However, you may be unaware
that you are sending signals to the bully that he can get away with bullying
you because you will make it easy for him or her to blame you.
BEFORE THE BULLYING INCIDENT
In the incident in which you were bullied describe any events that led up to the incident.
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
What happened just before you were bullied?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Did you do any of the following things that may have set off the bully or
made it easy for the bully to try and blame you? Circle any that apply.
a. challenge the bully ("if you take my seat today, I'll tell")
b. fight a battle that you did not need to, by assuming things, without taking your time.
c. Tease the bully
d. Force your way in because you felt so eager to be included
e. Create tension around you with so much noise and activity
f. Flare up over something that may not have been that important.
g. Other -explain.
Is there a way you could have avoided the bully?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
DURING THE INCIDENT
How did you react to the bully?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Your reaction to bullying may determine if the bully will target you again.
Bullies like it when you react in a noisy and showy way. This may get you
attention, but it gives the bully attention too. It gives a bully a sense of
power over you. It makes it FUN for the bully to bully you and he or she
will do it again.
Did you think of the consequences (results) before you acted or spoke, or did
you jump right in?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Did this situation bring you attention?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Were you so impulsive (quick to react) that the bully got the best of you?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Did you lose your temper?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Did you react in a loud and showy way?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
How can you remember to manage your behavior, and STOP and THINK before you
react?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you issue a challenge to a bully, your teacher will treat it as if you
caused the incident, and there will be a consequence. If the bully bullied
you, and then later you were mean to him, (there has been some time
in-between), it will also be treated as if you caused the incident. You will
need to learn how to handle bullying situations in a responsible manner, so
you do not end up being in trouble.
If you try to remember these things it may help you:
It is not necessary to argue over small things.
The bully is hoping you will fight back so you will lose.
If you are too eager to be included, it makes it easier for the bully to pick
on you.
Pushing your way into a group is not a way to make friends.
Think of the consequences of your actions before acting.
Stop and think before jumping in to a situation
You may be fun to torment if you are noisy and showy
When you react so quickly (without thinking) then you are easy to get the
better of.
Which of the things listed above do you think you most need to remember?
Ha-Ha-So
Targets can try HA HA SO for dealing with bullies.* Not every one works in
every situation.You may want to practice some of these techniques in the
mirror before actually trying to use them. You need to think ahead of time
about what sort of things push your buttons, because the bully will push
those buttons. You need to think ahead of time what you will do or say when
the bully does push your buttons.
What are your "buttons" (things people can say or do that really upset you)?
Here is the HA HA SO method:
H Help. Seek help from peers and/or an adult.
A Assert yourself. Look the bully in the eye and tell them to stop. Keep it
short. Use "I" statements like "I don't like it when you do that, please
stop." Remember to keep your voice calm, and do not whine or yell. Do not
taunt or insult, speak of the behavior, not the bully.
Humor. Respond with a remark to make the bully laugh. Remember not to insult the bully.
A Avoid. Walk away, stay with others, not alone.
S Self-talk. Put on a tape in your own mind that says nice things to yourself so the bully doesn't get to you.
O Own it. Own the put-down (agree with it) to throw the bully off.
What not to do.
Do NOT react emotionally.
Don't show strong emotions in front of the bully which will excite the bully more.4. Using an example of one of the times you were
bullied, show how a target could use HA HA or
SO:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Which HA HA SO do you think would work best?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Is there any HA HA SO you should not try in this case?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
5. Who are the adults you trust and can turn to for help when you are bullied in school?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
6. Are there other students in your school who might support you?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
7. In the most recent situation, how might you have handled it?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
*The HAHASO strategy was developed by the Bully Project and set forth in Bully-Proofing
Your School, which can be obtained from Sopris West Publishing at .
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