Domestic Violence

Attorney General

DELAWARE ATTORNEY GENERAL

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Domestic violence is no longer a hidden threat to our nation's families. Today, people talk about the crime of domestic violence on T.V., in the newspapers, and in magazines all the time. The fact that people are talking about it, however, has not made it go away. According to the F.B.I., one out of every two women in this country will be in an abusive relationship in her lifetime. People are suffering
every day at the hands of someone they love. This brochure has information
which explains some of the questions people have about domestic violence.

Types of Domestic Violence:
Physical: Any form of assault committed against a spouse/significant
other, children, or pets
Sexual: Engaging in any form of sexual activity without consent is abuse even if the person is married/intimate partner
Emotional: Using emotions as a weapon to have power or control over the spouse/intimate partner
Economic: Using money to keep the spouse/significant other financially powerless.

Cycle of Domestic Violence:
1. Tension-building stage: The batterer becomes increasingly tense and angry.
The victim holds herself responsible for the batterer's unhappiness. The batterer
becomes verbally abusive, and may commit some minor physical abuse or
destroy the victim's personal property.
2. Explosive stage: The batterer's violence is out of control and out of proportion to the situation. People who try to help the victim may also be in danger during this stage.
3. Honeymoon stage: The batterer apologizes to the victim, and seems truly
sorry for the assault. Often, the batterer will promise that the violence will never
happen again. This can sometimes cause the victim to reunite with the batterer.
Despite the batterer's promises during the honeymoon stage, without help from counseling and other outside sources,

NOTHING will prevent the violence from happening again.
Domestic violence slowly destroys the lives of all people who are involved in a
violent relationship: batterer, victim, and children. If you are a victim of domestic
violence, help is available. Please don't be afraid to ask.

WHY NOT LEAVE?
Victims of domestic violence stay in abusive relationships for many reasons.
Fear and money are two of the most important reasons. Fear of an increase in the violence and a lack of money to survive trap victims and their children in the "Cycle of Domestic Violence," which cannot be broken without help from the outside.

What to do if you think you know someone who is being abused:
U If you hear sounds of violence, CALL THE POLICE.
Don't put yourself in danger or wait for the situation to resolve itself.
U Secretly provide the suspected victim with the telephone number to a local shelter or counseling and support services. You can say that you are passing them out to everyone you know.

What NOT to do if you think someone is being abused:
U DON'T TRY TO BREAK UP THE FIGHT.
Leave the police work to the police. You don't know what kind of weapons may be available to the batterer.
U Don't confront the batterer. Instead, urge the victim to call agencies, such as a battered women's hotline or police department for help at a time when she can safely talk.
U Don't jump to conclusions about why a victim may be staying in a relationship. No one likes being abused.
U Don't offer to let a victim of domestic violence stay in your house without thinking about it first. You could be placing your own family in danger. Offer to help get a victim into a shelter instead.